Give Me Strength
by myperson7623
Summary: set post 3x03: Andy Herrera tries to survive the best as she can but nothing will be the same without Ryan. This is my first fanfic so please bear with me.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: by no means do I own Station 19 because if i did I wouldn't have killed off Lucas Ripley or Ryan Tanner**

_story sets after 3x03 when Sullivan chooses Maya to be captain instead of Andy. This is a slight crossover with Grey's Anatomy but if you don't watch the show you will still understand this story. _

**Chapter 1 **

Andy walks into Sullivan's office contemplating about what she wants to say to him. She is hurt of course, but she has to keep her emotions in check. All she needs to know is why Sullivan needed to talk to Maya privately. So Andy knocks on the door ready with a long list of questions but when Sullivan looks up at her with a blank stare, she forgets all that she had wanted to say.

"Herrera what can I do for you?" Sullivan asks after a few moments.

"Sir I just wanted..." Andy mustering up what confidence she has left "I just wanted to know who will be captain of the station now."

Sullivan stares at her before he looks back at the paperwork he was holding, "well I just had a conversation with Bishop and she is all ready to be captain."

"wait I'm sorry, you gave Maya the job!?" Andy's voice rose "I though that whatever there was between us couldn't happen because you wanted to make me captain."

"Andy..." Sullivan starts

"No don't you dare 'Andy' me," she looks straight into his eyes "you lost the right when you broke my heart."

Sullivan looks away, hurt flashing on his face, "okay Herrera I just don't think you are ready to be captain right now. You've gone through a lot in the last few days and right now I believe you are not in the right headspace to lead the team."

"I am ready, I have been ready since the day I joined this team." Andy says trying not to 'disrespect' her chief, "You do this thing where all you do is take. First you ask me what I want then you reject me because of the captain position and then you don't even promote me?" her voice shakes and she realizes that if she wants to keep her composure, she would have to leave right away. So before Sullivan could respond, Andy walks out.

As soon as Andy left his office, Sullivan put his head in his hands. He's tired. He's tired of his leg giving out, tired of Pruitt interfering with Andy's life (even though he has good intentions), and most of all he's tired that he can't show Andy how much he loves her. He loves her more than anyone can imagine and it's killing him that he can't tell her. That he has to pretend that they not having real conversations doesn't affect him. Watching Andy at Ryan's funeral broke his heart, he wanted to be there for her holding her hand being her strength, just as she was for him at Ripley's funeral. But he can't. He's battalion chief now and with his leg, he can't have anything else that would endanger his position. He is just going to have to live with the decision he made. Sullivan gets up from his desk and heads to the beanery.

Everyone but Andy is in the beanery talking about some dinner party Hughes has to go to. Sullivan clears his throat to get everyone's attention. "Hey team. I've decided that the best person for the captain's position is Bishop. She will be your captain starting tomorrow," Sullivan says while looking at everyone almost daring them to voice their complaints. He left the beanery while everyone was congratulated Maya.

Later in the day the Aid Car was called to a park close to Pac North so Hughes and Montgomery got ready for the drive. When in the car they both felt that the other wants to talk so finally Hughes starts the conversation.

"Why do you think the chief picked Maya instead of Andy or Jack?"

"I honestly have no idea but I think she'll be a good captain even though she doesn't have as much experience," Montgomery replied.

"Yeah... I just hope Andy will be okay she was really looking forward to this promotion and Tanner just died," Hughes continued.

"mhmm where is she right now? She wasn't with us when the chief talked to us," Montgomery asked.

"I'm not sure but I don't think she's at the station," Hughes answered, "I hope she's gone back home to rest."

"Yeah... oh my god Vic look!" Montgomery said suddenly.

"what happened" Hughes looks up at the window of the car, "holy shit Andy!"

Out in the middle of the park lay Andy Herrera slowly bleeding out from an unknown cause and another woman crying but also trying to see how she is supposed to help. Hughes and Montgomery run toward the woman and Andy, not sure of what to do. When they reach the pair they could see that Andy is still conscious and trying to tell the woman how to help her. Montgomery and Hughes silently decide to ask questions later and quickly tried to stop the bleeding before Andy completely lost consciousness.

"hey guys this is Ashlyn" Andy says drowsily while pointing to the woman.

"Herrera try to save your energy and don't talk", Montgomery says worried "we will get the detail of the accident once we figure out how to stop the bleeding".

"I'm so so sorry, I have no idea how this happened." Ashlyn sobs, "he just came out of no where holding a gun and and..."

"Okay Ashlyn take deep breathes and try to tell me what happened," Hughes tried to say calmingly.

"okay... I was just taking a walk around the park and that's when this man came out of no where holding a knife and demanding that I give him my money. I told him that I don't have my wallet but he didn't believe me. He started to walk towards me but before he could grab me, that lady just jumped in out of no where and kicked him in the balls." Ashlyn recounts, "then as he was running away I looked at the lady ready to thank her for saving my life but she was on the ground bleeding out like she is now."

"Shit Travis she's been bleeding out for a while," Hughes screams "we need to go to Pac North now before..."

"yeah yeah let's go she just lost consciousness... we should go now!" Montgomery says frantically, "oh fuck Vic we need to call the team and let them know what happened"

"i'll call them on our way. We have to go," Hughes replies.

They say their goodbyes to Ashlyn as they get Andy into the Aid Car. Hughes then calls Maya and lets her know what happened and that they are on their way to Pac North.

Maya ends the call and tells the rest of team while trying to figure out how to break the news to the chief. She's worried about her best friend and even though they haven't been on the best terms lately, she wouldn't know what she would do if Andy didn't make it. Maya works up the courage and walks up to the office and knocks on the door.

Sullivan looks up and instantly knows that something is wrong with Maya. "Bishop what's wrong?"

"Sir..."


	2. Chapter 2

**Previously on Give Me Strength**

_Sullivan looks up and instantly knows that something is wrong with Maya. "Bishop what's wrong?"_

_"Sir..."_

**Chapter 2 **

For once in her life Maya Bishop was afraid and she couldn't do anything else but break down. So when the chief, the man her best friend might have fallen in love with; the same man that hurt Andy more than Maya had ever seen, looked at Maya with concern, she broke. It was like a dam broke and all the pain that she suppressed or turned into 'power' came flooding out. Before she knew it, she Captain Maya Bishop was sobbing in front of her chief.

"Alright Maya you need to take a few deep breathes and tell me what happened or else I won't be able to help," Sullivan says while trying to calm Bishop.

"Sir," Maya takes a deep breath before continuing, "It's Andy."

"Andy?" Sullivan said slightly fearful and confused, "what happened to Herrera? Is she alright?"

"The Aid Car was called to help her," Maya said knowing that she was going to start crying again, "sh... she got stabbed with a knife while trying to protect this lady in the park."

Sullivan didn't know how to respond. There were too many emotions that he was feeling. Andy hurt? His stubborn, strong, beautiful Andy? He didn't know how he could live if he lost another person he loves. What was he supposed to do? He needed to go to which ever hospital she is being treated at. He just needs to makes sure she's okay. The first thing he'll do when he sees her is tell her how he feels and that he wants to be with her. There was no way he could lose Andy.

"Maya you need to get up and tell me where she is, c'mon," Sullivan says trying to pry Maya off the floor.

"Hughes and Montgomery have taken her to Pac North," Maya replies ready to go.

"They've taken her to the morgue!?" Sullivan exclaims, "are you fucking kidding me."

"Sir, it''s all right. The hospital has been improving and the success rates have gone up. Pac North was also the closest hospital so if Hughes and Montgomery wanted to save her, they had to take Andy there." Maya says not knowing if she was trying to persuade Sullivan or herself that Pac North was a good decision.

"mhmm okay let's go," Sullivan says not wanting to waste any more time.

Maya and Sullivan took Maya's car in case the others needed the ladder truck. Neither of them spoke as they headed to the hospital, both thinking about Andy. Andy is their rock. She supports all of them no matter what. When Maya needs her, Andy is there. When Sullivan needed her, Andy was there. Without Andy, no one would survive. They would all slowly break to no end.

As soon as the pair reached the hospital, they jumped out of the car and ran to the front desk.

"We're looking for an Andrea Herrera," Sullivan tells the lady at the desk as she searches for the patient.

Hughes, who was just getting coffee for her and Montgomery, sees the chief and Maya. "Hey guys over here," She calls for them, "Andy is still in surgery and they haven't given us any update yet."

"She needed surgery?" Sullivan asked quietly, worried about his woman, "what the hell happened Hughes?"

Hughes tells Sullivan what happened as she, Maya, and Sullivan walk to towards the waiting room to meet Montgomery. When they reach the waiting room, they saw a doctor talking to Montgomery. When the doctor leaves, they start bombarding Montgomery with questions.

"How is she?" asked Sullivan.

"What did the doctor say?" asked Bishop.

"Is the surgery done?" asked Hughes.

"That was Dr. Kane, he's a resident here." Montgomery started, "he said that Dr. Webber is still in surgery with Herrera and that she has lost a lot of blood. It seems the knife that she got stabbed with tore her abdominal wall and that's why she was bleeding out so much. But he thinks that she should make it out of surgery just fine because Dr. Webber is one of the best. The only thing they are worried about, once she is out, is an infection. The knife wouldn't have been sterilized so an infection is inevitable. So once she is out of surgery, Herrera will be under a watchful eye."

"Oh fucking hell." The other three say in unison.

"Did Dr. Kane say anything about how much longer the surgery will take?" Sullivan asked.

"He said that Dr. Webber was just closing up and just about finished. We can't see her until after she is moved out of the ICU." Montgomery said. He they looked at Hughes and Bishop while wondering where the rest of the team was. "hey guys where are Warren, Gibson, and Miller?"

"the last we checked, they were still at the station doing their chores," Sullivan answered for the other two. "We were too much in a rush to tell them what was going on."

"I'll call Gibson and let him know what happened," Bishop said hoping that Jack would finally talk to her properly after with what happened to Andy.

Sullivan nodded. "Alright."

It took another two hours for both Dr. Webber and Dr. Kane to approach the team and tell them that Andy was out of the ICU. By the time: Gibson, Warren, and Miller has rushed to the hospital. Dr. Webber repeated what Kane had told the team and included the procedures they would be following while monitoring Andy.

"Are we allowed to see her now?" Maya asked, what the rest of the team was wondering.

"You are yes," said Dr. Kane "but please go one at a time, we don't want to overwhelm her right after surgery."

Maya looked at the team and asked them if she could go first. They all nodded yes while deciding who would go next. When Maya entered the room, all she was able to focus on was how tiny Andy looked on that bed. She couldn't believe that her best friend was in this predicament. She just needed her to wake up so they could talk and solve their differences. Maya just stood there for ten minutes waiting to see if Andy would wake up. When she didn't, Maya went back outside so the others could see her too.

One by one the rest of the team enetered Andy's room until it was Sullivan's room. He opted to go last because he knew that the rest of the team would want to see her. But it almost killed him that he couldn't just sit by her bed the whole time holding her hand and giving her strength. When he went inside the room and looked at Andy, he noticed her eyes fluttering open.

"Hey..." Sullivan croaked.

"Where am I..." Andy asked still feeling a little hazy from the anesthesia, "and what is that horrible beeping sound?"

"You're in the hospital..." Sullivan answered almost smiling at this amazing woman. "Some idiot stabbed you in the park."

"oh yeah" Andy said while scrunching her face in pain. "I remember now."

"Andy..." Sullivan said hoping to say something more meaningful to her.

Andy looked away before he could say anymore "I need you to go."

"What no!" Sullivan exclaimed.

"Please just get out," Andy said while trying to raise her hand to point towards the door.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: hey guys thank you so much for reading this fanfic. I really loved reading all of the reviews. I'm going to try to post as often as I can so please hang with me. **

**Previously on Give Me Strength**

_Andy looked away before he could say anymore "I need you to go."_

_"What no!" Sullivan exclaimed._

_"Please just get out," Andy said while trying to raise her hand to point towards the door._

**Chapter 3 **

"Andy please just give me a chance," Sullivan pleaded, "I know I hurt you. I will regret that everyday. But please don't give up on me. On us."

"_You _were the one who gave up on us. _You _were the one who told me to go that day, after the wildfire. _You _were the one who chose your promotion over me." Andy said getting angry, "how dare you ask me to not give up when that's all you did!?"

"I'm sorry alright. I am so sorry."Sullivan whispered while trying not to let his tears fall, "I love you. I can't stand not being without you anymore. I want... no I need to hold you. I need to touch you. I need you in order for me to laugh. I will do anything for you."

Andy felt drained. She couldn't do this anymore. She wasn't strong enough to play this hot and cold thing with him. She didn't know the next time Robert would just look at her and break her _again_. "I'm sorry but I can't give you another chance," Andy replied after a few moments, "you hurt me too much the first time."

Sullivan couldn't hold his tears back any longer. He realized that he didn't know what he had until he lost her and he was willing to do anything to get her back. "Andy please... let's just start over."

Andy was confused, "start over?"

"yeah start over from friends and see where we can go from there," Sullivan said hoping Andy would say yes, "I want to show you how much you mean to me. I want you to be able to trust me with your heart again."

"Robert I don't know" Andy said getting ready to go to sleep again.

"Just think about it. Rest now, I can see you are getting tired," Sullivan said smiling. Before he left he turned around a looked at his woman again and said "hey, I love you."

Andy stayed in the hospital for another week or so. While she was there, her dad came to visit. They still weren't on the best of terms but Pruitt just needed to see if his daughter would be okay. However, Andy felt terrible after her dad left. He was all she had right now. Ryan died, so she didn't know how much longer she could continue this strained relationship with her dad. Andy decided that she needed to talk to Pruitt once she was discharged.

When the day that she was finally discharged arrived, Andy thought that she would just take a cab back to the apartment. After she had collected all of her belongings and changed into her clothes that Maya had given her, she walked out of the room and didn't look back. When she reached the front desk she noticed Sullivan standing there with his car keys in hand.

"Hey ready to go?" he asked smiling.

"What are you doing here Robert?" Andy asked, "I can get myself back home."

"You really think that I was about to let you do that?" He asked her with one eyebrow raised.

"You aren't going to leave even if I told you to right..." Andy sighed, "let's just go."

The drive back to her house was one of the most awkward situations Andy had been in and there have been a lot in her life. Andy looked out the window trying her best not to make any sort of conversation with Sullivan nor look at him. But all she could stare at while she was looking at the window was his reflection. Sullivan was no better. She could always feel him looking at her while he drove.

Andy knew how she felt about him and now she knows how he feels about her. He even gave her a choice of starting over again and god did she want to say yes. She just didn't know if she had enough strength to be in any kind of relationship anymore. After Ryan, she didn't know if she could go through that pain again. If she became close with Sullivan again and then lost him, she would never come back from that, there was no way. She didn't know what to do in this kind of situation anymore.

When they finally reached the apartment complex, Andy hesitated to go inside. Sullivan reaches out to her and squeezed her hand.

"Hey it's going to be alright," he assured her.

"Yeah I know, but I don't know how to walk past that apartment where everything happened and not break."she told him.

"Why don't I walk with you." Sullivan told her, "I pormise i'll leave as soon as I know you are okay."

"Okay... thank you." Andy said with a slight smile.

Sullivan and Andy walk towards her apartment as they past the area where Ryan died, Andy's grip on Sullivan's arm tightened. Sullivan just held her even closer slightly enjoying how she felt by his side at that moment. Andy opened her front door while Sullivan stood behind her. Maya was still at work so it would only be her in the house.

"Uh... do you want you to come in for some coffee?" Andy asked not wanting to be alone at that moment.

"Sullivan smiled. "Coffee would be perfection."

Andy smiled her first smile in a long time. They both knew where he got that reference from. She walked into the kitchen and began to prepare the coffee. When she walked out with two cups of coffee in her hand, she realized that Sullivan was still standing by the door.

"Robert, come sit," Andy said patting on the sofa.

Sullivan sat and watched as Andy set the cups of coffee on the table with coasters and everything. He smiled, she was his clean freak. When Andy looked up again, she noticed how Sullivan was looking at her. She could feel that need for him that she shoved deep down, rise back up again. Simultaneously both Sullivan and Andy lunged for each other and kissed, hard.

"Bedroom. Now." Andy panted.

Both Sullivan and Andy knew that they needed to talk about things but right now neither would give up this opportunity of showing the other how much they love each other.


End file.
